Shadow Serpent
by Shadow Scryer
Summary: Harry's dead. For the twenty sixth time, his guardian isn't happy, her brothers are even less so, he's got one last chance to get it right starting from his first year of Hogwarts, can he get it right! Not likely... Inspired by Reptilia28s challenge.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer; Don't own anything except Shadow, Vimm and Nightmare. I don't even own the idea, I saw a challenge by Reptilia28 and thought it's be fun.**

Harry groaned, picking himself up and looking around him, taking in the hallway and trying to remember what just happened. **Okay. I was in Hogwarts just now, I know that much. Then… I think Ron pushed me down the stairs. Something about 'you'd better stay in line Potter'. Hold on a minute, Hermione keeps saying you can't apperate in or out of the school, so that means… **his hand slowly curled into a fist which he put in his mouth. He, Harry James Potter, arch-enemy of Voldemort, who survived attacks he didn't care to count by one of the strongest wizards of the age, had died by falling down the stairs.

He was shaken from his thoughts as a hand grabbed him around the back on the neck and began dragging him none-to-gently. "What the hell are you doing?" he yelled, deciding to sue the arse off this guy when he found the opportunity and getting smashed against a wall in response.

"You… I don't… _WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? DO YOU WANT HER TO GET FIRED YA LIL' SHIT?_" Came the raging roar of a verbal response. Harry took this opportunity to see if he knew anyone like the guy in front of him, ultimately deciding he didn't. He was fairly sure that everyone he knew was human, or at the very least, half-human, centaurs included. This guy however, was not. Sure, he would have passed for human if he got rid of the claws. And the red eyes. And the tar-black skin. And the serrated teeth. And the tail. And the wings. And the broardsword that was nearly as long as its owner was tall with some scythe-like blades running down it. And the- You know what? He'd pass for human if he removed everything that obviously wasn't.

"Who's her?" choked out the captive. He was both surprised and relieved when the clawed hand was remover from his throat.

"You don't know?"

"That's why I'm asking." He was met with a stunned expression.

"Wow. You get dumber every time, ya know that?"

"Actually, I don't."

"Oh right. Memory erasing. Damn that's a stupid rule. Who the hell thought it up? Oh right, some guy who thought it wasn't a good idea for people to know they're not supposed to die again." Muttered the monster, glumly. "Come with me, you'll understand soon enough." They walked in silence for a while, before the monster stopped, turned to a door and opened it. "In." Harry Did as ordered. "Sit." Harry did just that, in front of the only desk in the room. "Now. My sister's gonna be here soon, and she'll explain everything. My brother and I'll be nearby just in case." With that, he left the room, leaving Harry to continue asking himself the question 'What the hell is going on?' until the door opened and a smiling Caucasian girl walked in. She looked like she was fourteen with a black bob cut, she was wearing a black t-shirt, black slacks, sandals and had a huge, vicious-looking scythe strapped across her back which ruined the entire appearance.

"Are you really that guys sister?"

"Yup!" Apparently she didn't care about the monstrous weapon. Good for her. She paused and looked at him quizzically before asking "Do I know… you…" and suddenly fell to pieces, metaphorically speaking. "BIG BROTHERS!" She howled between sobs, "HE'S BEING MEAN AGAIN!"

"Again with the again! Will someone tell me what you mean by again?" Roared Harry, the crying girl grinding his nerves more than they already were, which was enough to shock her into silence. She literally stopped. Even her tears remained suspended in the air.

"This isn't the first time you've died." She said, her voice far more serious than it had been a second ago. And the tears were still in the same place. "It's the, lets see. There was the incident with the Cerberus, the blood-drinker and the head in the first year-"

"Head?"

"You know when you killed Quirrel, you had a splitting headache?"

"Yes."

"Let's just say it did. That was only the first year, so add that too the cracked skull on the sealed platform, the crashed car, the bludger, the skeleton removal-" She giggled, sounding like a kid again. "You were funny when you were a boneless boy! Then there was the Basilisk venom, the Dementor, Shadow had to hunt it down and rip it apart to get your soul back, hitting the ground at full force in the match against hufflepuff, the whomping willow again, Pettigrew killed you, the werewolf killed you, deatheaters, dragons. You got killed by dragons TWICE!"

"But I only faced it once!"

"The first time was when you saw it with Hagrid. You were just within burning range. Idiot. Fish people, the giant squid, the spider, the sphinx, Voldemort, dementors again, Dumbi- Umbridge sorry, the centaur herd, jumping through the veil after your godfather and FALLING DOWN THE STAIRS? Are you TRYING to get yourself killed boy?"

"You're wrong. There's no possible way I died twenty six times."

"You're clumsy, stupid, and just annoying in general. Like all Griffindors. Except for," she paused "Can't remember her name. Some Granger girl I think" she giggled, the suspended tears finally continuing their descent. "She's the one you love!"

"And vice versa," came a more sane version of the monsters voice from behind the twenty-six-times-dead-and-counting boy who span around to face the newcomer, startled but not truly scared. He doubted that he'd ever feel fear again after talking with the girl. The newcomer was what the monster would look like if he was human, only with hair spiked up instead of a crew cut. That and nearly everything about him was bleached. His t-shirt, his tracksuit pants, his hair, even his skin was bleached white, as was the poleblade across his back.

"Big brother!" cried the girl, waving excitedly as what looked like a Caucasian version of the monster without the monstrous parts, save the red eyes, teeth and sword, from before came into view. Her eyes widened, as did her grin "Big _brothers_!" She corrected herself.

"Now you're all here, I'd like to ask WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING!" He screamed, finally snapping.

"You're dead, Nightmare's gonna get fired if you die the twenty-seventh time, and you get one last chance." Replied the white one.

"Who's Nightmare? Oh, right." Harry said, finishing after seeing the girls nametag.

"Let me finish. Because her job's on the line, we're going to let you relive your life from the beginning of Hogwarts, all memories intact, rules be damned. But please, I'm begging you here, don't get sorted into Griffindor or blindly follow the old man!"

Harry snarled, "You don't know him. Dumbledore is a-"

"Manipulative old fart with a God complex." Said the monster. "And don't get close ta most of the redheads either. Especially the girl." He shuddered.

"Ah! Meanie love potion girl!"

"Love potion? You mean everything I ever felt for Ginny… was a lie?"

"Ya make that sound incredibly cliché mate," muttered the monster, who's nearly invisible black nametag identified him as Shadow.

"I- I- I-"

"Can't believe it I know. Ya nearly died of an overdose once. She's insane."

"So where's your nametag?" The scarred one asked the white one, desperate to change the subject. He was answered with said white one turning around, revealing three words on the back of his t-shirt in large, dark blue letters, 'Vimm Psyche Scryer.'

"We've wasted too much time here. You'll be sent back to the first time ya went to Kings cross. Avoid. The redheads. Except the twins, the twins are cool." Advised Shadow. "Well, see ya."

"That's it? You're not giving me anything to help? Wait. See you?"

"You'll find out soon enough kid." There was a flash, and Harry James Potter, the Boy-who-lived, the chosen-one, the hater-of-all-these-frikin'-hyphonated-titles, was gone.

**Yeah, Harry's a whiny kid at the moment, but I'll try to make him into something more badass. He might get his own weapon sometime, but not yet. Not 'till he survives the first year.**

**So! Whaddya think? Good? Bad? Ugly? Continue? Give up? It's my first attempt at something like this, so go easy on me if ya don't mind.**


	2. Taken back to the past

**I'm amazed. Twenty two hits in the first half hour this thing was up. Be warned though, one of the OCs goes God Of War on the troll. And I haven't thought about Harry's weapon yet, so any suggestions would be great. The more creative the better.**

"Kid? You alright kid?"

Harry groaned, picking himself up from, would you believe it, the floor of Kings cross station. "What happened?" the ever cliché one asked the concerned guard, deciding it was a better idea to do that than begin rambling about pissed off afterlife guardians with weapons and a grudge.

"You said something about the eleven o'clock train and collapsed."

"Right, sorry. I didn't get much sleep last night. I was thinking of an eleven thirty" Bugger. No-one's ever going to believe that.

"Alright. Off you go then." Harry couldn't believe the unbelievable had been believed. By the same guard who called him a time waster last time round. First thing he needed to do though, was get onto the platform before-

"Packed with muggles of course," came an all-too-familiar voice. Too late. Harry _ran _like he'd never run before, reaching the gate and passing through just in time to avoid being seen by the Weasleys.

SVNF

"Where is that stupid boy?"

"Mum!"

"Sorry Ginny, I mean; where's my daughters fiancé?" The twins escaped through the barrier in a desperate and successful attempt to escape their deranged relatives, boarding the train and finding a compartment.

"Forge, I think we need to come up with a new name. I'm not comfortable sharing it with those _things_" shuddered Fred.

"Right you are Gred. I say we put out heads together and nut out an idea," responded George, taking his twins head and hitting it with too much force for either of their liking with his own. "I'm never doing that again."

"Wasn't your best joke, brother-" he was cut off as the door to their compartment slid open, revealing two boys who could easily be twins.

"The,"

"Weasley,"

"Twins,"

"We,"

"Presume?" they finished together.

George slowly turned to his twin. "Forge?"

"Yes Gred?"

"I say we make an alliance."

"I agree"

"So do I. You don't mind if we're in a different house do ya?" asked one.

"Not at all. Gives us contacts to spread more chaos." cackled Fred, gleefully rubbing his hands together.

SVNF

Harry sighed as he finally found an empty compartment, wondering if it was worth avoiding the Weasleys this time. At least last time the twins helped him with his luggage. He was once again brought to reality by the sound of the door opening to reveal Hermione.

"Have you seen a toad? A boy named Neville's lost one."

"Accio Neville's toad!" Said toad flew into his hand, much to the awe of Hermione, who immediately began rocketing off the spells she learnt, only to be pushed out of the way by a red haired, freckled, long-nosed kid who made Harry feel stupid just by looking at him.

"Mind if I sit here? Everywhere else is full." Without waiting for an answer, he moved to sit down next to Harry, only for a thin beam of white energy to blast through the compartment wall, skimming the tip of his nose. The idiot blinked and looked through the small hole in the wall, in which a dark blue eye appeared, narrowing when it saw him.

"Damn! Missed him!" The eye was replaced by a hand which fired several more blasts in quick succession, along with a "Dance bitch!" and uncontrollable laughter from three separate entities as the youngest male Weasley did just that before bolting down the train screaming bloody murder.

By this time, Hermione had picked herself up and was glaring after the brain-dead glutton. "Prat."

"You have no idea just how much I agree with you." He stuck out a hand, "I'm Harry."

Hermione's eyes widened, a hand being clamped over her mouth before she could emit an excited squeal.

"I know what they say about me, I don't know what happened that night, and I have no wish to be hailed as a hero by the media. It's going to get old quick anyway. What's your name if you don't mind me asking?"

Hermione mentally slapped herself for not giving him her name when he gave her his. "Hermione Granger." She answered.

"Nice name." he said, honestly.

"S-so, what house do you think you'll be in? I've heard good things about Gryffindor-"

"Which is all a load o' crap!" came a voice from the other compartment.

"Or maybe Ravenclaw then. Hufflepuff wouldn't be too bad though." She continued hesitantly. "But Slytherin-"

"Is heavily stereotyped!" Came the same voice.

"SHUT UP!" Roared Harry, watching Hermione steadily getting increasingly nervous.

The rest of the ride passed without much else happening, with the exception of Neville joining Harry, a friendship was forged, the entire snack trolley was bought and Harry actually got to eat something this time, random remarks were yelled by the guy in the other compartment, and Harry constantly yelling "SHUT UP!"

After what seemed like forever, they reached the school, said hi to Hagrid and got in a boat with a kid named Blaise Zabini, leaving a fuming redhead wondering how he was ever going to get his promised money and Potters obviously immeasurable life insurance. Neville pointed to four shapes moving through the water, asking "What are those?"

Harry strained his eyes, "Students it looks like."

"That doesn't make any sense," muttered Hermione.

"The half-giant mentioned something about two sets of twins saying the carriages and boats are no fun, so they decided to swim." Apparently the Weasley twins were involved.

"I wonder who the other set of twins are?" mused Neville.

"I'm starting to worry about that." Murmured Harry under his breath as they finally reached dry land and they were brought up to the castle. Harry completely zoned out while Mcgonagall explained everything, only snapping back to reality when Draco Malfoy, esteemed prince of Slytherin began talking to him.

"Potter? Harry potter?" He sounded genuinely amazed, "I heard you beat the living hell out of Weasley on the train."

"That wasn't me, but I would have if I got there first."

"No matter, it's the thought that counts." Harry blinked. He was completely different from last time. "I just don't like most Weasleys. They're evil," he shuddered.

"Shut your trap slimy snake!" Oh dear. "Harry's my friend, and he's going to rid the world of dark scum like you filthy Slytherins!" Harry was itching to blow the redheads brains out right then and there, and only partially for sounding so stupid. He looked at the two in front of him, both holding out their hands to him. He slowly extended his, seemingly unsure of what to do until he grabbed Dracos hand and shook it.

"You'll come to your senses Potter, or there _will be consequences!_" Sneered Ron, paling as he looked at something behind Harry, screaming like a little girl and fainting. Harry turned to see… absolutely nothing. What scared the redhead had slunk back into the crowd and was talking in whispers.

"So what do you think of the Human world so far?"

"I think I'll never understand how Humans can walk on two legs so easily. It's killing mine. My species usually walks on all fours."

"How do you think I feel? My species doesn't _have_ any legs. As soon as I can, I'm switching back to my true form."

"I don't blame ya." With that, they were called into the great hall where Harry blocked out the hats song, coming back to the real world when the sorting started. He cringed at Rons smug expression when he was sorted into Gryffindor, leaving only him, Neville, Hermione, Blaise and;

"Scryer Shadow and Scryer Vimm!" So that's what they meant by "See ya".

SVNF

Vimm strode up to the had alongside his adopted brother, sitting down and putting the hat on his head while said brother stood behind him, ignoring whispers of 'big for first years aren't they?' 'what's with the weapons?' and 'blimey, that guy looks stupid.' Although his eye twitched at the last one.

_Now what do we have here? _Came a voice, nearly causing him to fall off the stool, to which he replied **You tell me. **_Hmm. You hold nothing but distain for the meat-shields who call themselves "Gryffindors" I can understand that, what's this? A strong empathic link? With your- _Get outta it ya second-hand rag!___Twin I see. _**And he doesn't like anyone accessing it but me. **_I noticed that. You both feel the same way about Gryffindors, you simply wouldn't do for Hufflepuff, and – Oh my. Ooooooh my. If that's your true form, then there's no other place for you two but-_

"SLYTHERIN!"

**Omake; **

"**Obliterate!" roared Shadow, ripping Nevilles wand from his hand and pointing it at Lockheart, who disappeared in an explosion of blood that covered the four boys. "Or was it obliviate?" he yelled in exactly the same tone after a brief pause, still in the same position.**

"**It was Obliviate." Sighed Harry, wiping the mess from his glasses.**

"**Bugger."**


	3. Dark motivation

**Wow. Thanks for all the hits! And reviews! I like the reviews! Much obliged to everyone who's reading this story, even more so to the ones who actually like it. ****And weapon suggestions anyone? The more creative the better, 'cause it's fun coming up with what it's wielder can do with it.** So, here's chapter three of Shadow Serpent. 

"SLYTHERIN!"

"Dark wizards! Scum! Death eater trash!"

"Stick it op yer arse Weasley!" Barked Shadow in a crappy Irish accent, more than a little annoyed at the stereotype. Ron fell silent, although it was probably because he just realized said 'dark wizard' had a vicious-looking sword that was nearly as big as he was.

"Zabini, Blaise!"

"SLYTHERIN!"

Potter, Harry!

_Different this time round. A will to survive, and those brothers have plans for you and your friends. So-_

"SLY-"

"Granger, Hermone!"

"-THER-"

"Longbottom, Neville!"

"-RIN!"

Needless to say, they were stunned, stunned and horrified in that order. The boy-who-lived, a muggleborn and a Longbottom all in Slytherin. Snape looked like there was nothing he'd like better than to shoot himself, Dumbledore looked like he's been kicked in the balls multiple times, and everyone else simply stared at them. No-one even remembered there was supposed to be a feast, except a certain redhead glutton who whined loudly about the headmaster forgetting to summon it before having a plate smashed on either side of his head, courtesy of Fred and George. Vimm made a mental note to owe them a favor for that. Even though he didn't 'hear' as such, he still got sick of the kids complaining.

"N-now that we have all been fed and watered… Oh bugger. No matter, it's time to be shown to your dormitories anyway, off you trot!" He smiled as he watched the students file out of the hall, he smiled as the teachers did the same, he smiled when he entered his office, and he screamed in sheer fury when he sat down, trying to throttle the sorting hat and failing miserably because, well, you know, it has no neck. "DAMN YOU TO HELL!" screamed the ancient one, "Do you have any idea whatsoever how long I had to wait to execute those plans? He was supposed to be a meek little boy, he was supposed to befriend the Weasleys, and most importantly, HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE SORTED INTO GRYFFINDOR! I _command _you to re-sort him!"

"Stick it old fart." Scoffed the hat. "You think I didn't hear you for all the time you were gloating to yourself? It pissed me off big time." I would have sorted him into Slytherin last time, but there it was too dangerous. These… new guys aren't your run-off-the-mill Gryffindor meat shield, and neither were any of his friends.

"He's supposed to die fighting Voldemort in a horrible accident after severely injuring him, I would kill Tom and hold a great funeral for Potter, I would get the glory, the Weasley boy would get his money and the girl would know her husband got the tragic end that heroes get. She's little more than a fan girl anyway."

"… You sicken me. There will be no resorting, and if there is, it will be to Hufflepuff along with his friends. Draco Malfoy included." The headmaster paled visibly.

"Very well. But mark my words hat, I'll see you _burn _for this! After I become god of all penguins!"

The hat sighed. "And I used to wonder why I thought you were mad."

SVNF

Harry shuddered. "Why do I get the feeling that things are going to go very wrong very quickly?"

"You've got your friends Potter. We'll help you."

"Thanks Draco." But I wonder if you can? He finished silently, sparing the brothers a glance.

"Slytherins have to support each other. If we don't, who will? The entire world's labeled our house as 'dark wizards in training.' Seriously, I think they condition themselves to have no problems killing us if we so much as look as them the wrong way." Said Blaise, slapping Harry on the back. "And we'll beat the crap out of anyone who insults us."

Shadow and Vimm were, once again, whispering to each other.

"Whaddya think?"

"You're serious about this? You think he has the potential?"

"And his friends, but I know a promising guy when I see one and trust me, when we're done training him, no one in the wizarding world will be able to match his power. His friends might come close, but he'll be the strongest."

"Hmm…"

"You two! Why do you have weapons?" Barked the Slytherin prefect.

"Just in case. This place might be called the safest place in magic Briton, but the stories say exactly the opposite." Answered Vimm, completely honest.

"Still, we can't have you ruining our reputation." A stereotype. Vimm found himself thinking that the world would be a better place without this cheesy bastard. "So, Ava-" He blanched when Shadow, who had been at the other end of the room half a second ago was right in front of his face. He didn't even notice the fist until it connected with said face and sent him flying through a wall.

He looked at everyone who had been watching, "What? He tried to kill us, so I injured him, is that really so bad?"

Harry sighed. "It's going to be a long year."

"I'm a Slytherin." Whimpered Neville, who'd been in shock since he was sorted, and reaching the common room hadn't made any difference. Still, he was better than Hermione, who could only emit high-pitched squeaks.

That night, as Harry lay, fully awake, contemplating what to do with his life and how not to screw up, he could have sworn he heard hissing. The strange thing was, the hissing wasn't a snake speaking, it sounded more like _snoring_. "Great. Not I'm going to be kept awake by snoring serpents all night. And I'm in Slytherin. Could anything get any worse?" Unknown to him, Shadow was listening through the darkness itself and grinned and began talking to himself.

"It will mate. We'll keep manipulating ya 'till you and ya friends finally grow some balls. Overlord Potter."

**Omake;**

"**Take thirteen!"**

**Shadow ripped Nevilles wand from his hand and pointed it at Lockheart. "EVISCERATE!" Lockheart blinked and fell to the floor, his right and left halves completely separate and very much dead. He let the wand fall to the same floor "That wasn't it was it?"**

"**Nope." Answered Harry, once again wiping the mess from his glasses.**

"**Damn!"**


	4. Snakes will never fly

I own Nothing except my OCs. Not Harry Potter, no references I might include, nothing. But the omake ideas are mine and mine alone.

Thanks for the views and reviews guys! The time when one of the OCs goes God of War on the troll is soon, so be warned. There will also be a filler sometime in the future regarding the Scryers. That said, I hope ya enjoy this chapter.

Harry was incredibly drowsy when he woke up. All he could tell was that he was being dragged across the grounds. And he was wrapped in chains. That was more than enough to snap him out of it. He looked around frantically, eventually seeing that the chain he was wrapped in was attached to the end of the hilt of a broardsword. He didn't notice the chain when he first saw the weapon. "Shadow, what the hell are you doing?"

"Trainin' you and ya friends. I was kinda hoping you'd wake up after I got ya out of the chains though." He yanked the chain and the world was a blur to Harry until he found himself sprawled out on the grass.

"Harry?" came a groggy voice from an equally groggy Neville.

"You brought them too?"

"Of course. You need someone to watch your back at all times, otherwise-"

"You'll get cut down no matter how strong you are." Shadow finished seriously. "That's the truth."

"So we brought your friends out here. Strange."

"What's strange?" growled Harry, sick of being told bit-by-bit.

"You have something called 'Overlord potential.' It's rare for a human to have it, and even rarer for this many in one place. I haven't checked everyone yet, but you're the only ones in Slytherin with it. Now as for most of the Weasleys, they have 'Antilord' potential. If they fall, they'll do anything to make sure they feel important. Antilords are ego freaks who don't give a rats about anyone or anything else. But, you see our weapons?" grinned Vimm, gesturing to the poleblade on his back.

"How could I not?"

"It's the main benefit of becoming an Overlord. You get your own weapon called a 'soulblade'. It's yours and only yours. No-one else can use it properly. So! Let's get training, if you work hard enough you should rise to Overlord rank by the end of the year."

"The year?"

"It takes a lotta work ta become an Overlord, kid. If ya manage it, ya weapon'll materialize on your back. There're a few major types, brutal, technique, speed and mental. I'm brutal, he's technique. Speed types are rare, mental types're even rarer." With that, Shadow strolled over to Harrys friends and lifted them to their feet, one hand each.

"Wha? What time is is?" murmured Blaise, blinking at the fist half an inch in front of his face.

"Too slow! If this was an assassination you'd be long dead by now."

"Potter, shut him up."

"No hope mate! Now, three laps around the castle. And by now, I mean NOW!" Everyone, Hermione included, ran for it as they saw a hand inching towards the sword on his back.

"Draco, I think you might have noticed, but I can't really control them!" Harry panted after two and a half laps.

"I guess they're not as dumb as Crabbe and Goyle then!"

On the other side of the castle, Vimm glared in their exact direction for being compared to said idiots while Shadow didn't react, having not heard Dracos comment and grinned when they arrived from their final lap.

"Dodge me."

"Wait a minute!" protested Hermione, "you haven't even given us time to rest!"

"No time." With that, he delivered a punch that Harry only just managed to dodge, following up with a kick to the leg, breaking a bone and making the scarred one hiss in pain. "Alright then, I guess we know how to train ya then." Vimm simply looked at Harrys broken leg and it was covered in light, the pain was gone, and it was healed as if nothing had happened. "Alright, listen up. Mondays we do running and push-ups, Tuesdays, unarmed sparring and squats, Wednesdays are sparing with kendo sticks Vimm's prepared and weight lifting, repeat for the next three days and take Sunday off, then do the same thing. If you're not sweating by the end of it, you're not working hard enough. So, Push-ups!" Barked the dark one.

SVNF

"Isn't that-" The student talking was silenced by a look from Vimm.

"Yeah, I can see his sc-" Cut off as Shadow grinned at him. And it wasn't a friendly grin, more like a 'I'm going to set up a gallows with your bones and hang you with your own intestines' kind on psycho grin.

Needless to say, Harry was relieved that the students actually caught on that he didn't like being ogled at 24/7. He, the brothers and his friends (The brothers didn't count, they were only there for his protection.) had finished most of their classes for the day and were heading for the dungeons, wondering if Snape was as much of a bastard as last time. They were blocked by Ron, who seemed to have made a few friends, Dean Thomas, Seamus Finnigan, Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil. Harry didn't doubt he had connections to other houses and made a mental note to do the same. After all, any self-respecting overlord needed sources to tell him what's happening where he's not so he can quash rebellions before they begin.

"What's happening _snakes_?" Jeered the redhead. "Finding your little burrow comfortable _snakes_? Going to sink your fangs into people like me who defend the light 'eh _snakes_?" He looked at Hermione, Harry and Neville. "How pathetic. The so-called boy-who-lived, the child of two of the strongest light warriors ever, and even a muggleborn mudblood in the dark house!" Shadow snarled, furious at the dark-is-evil stereotype. "All of you! You're nothing more than death eater scum you filthy," Vimms brow creased, "slimy," his eye twitched, "cheating," his teeth barred, "no-good," he was visibly shaking with rage, "SNAKES!" Vimm snapped. He didn't bash Weasleys brains out against a wall like his brother would have done, but his eyes bleached to the colour of his skin and hair while his voice became colder and higher.

"That'ssssss right Weassssley." He hissed. "We are ssssnakesss. We were ssssorted into the housssse of Sssssslytherin. Do you really think that a housssse would be made for evil sssstudentssss?"

"Yes!"

"Then you're a fool." Spat the white one, slowly walking towards him. "Becausssse you hate what you don't undersssstand without fearing it. You ssssee, ssssnakessss have venom. And my venom issss toxic enough to kill you at leasssst eighteen timessss before you hit the ground. Do not messsss with me kid. You don't know what you're dealing with." He moved past the idiots gang, followed by the others, into the classroom, only just sitting down as Snape made his entry, which was both very impressive and very intimidating. He gave his just as impressive and intimidating speech and scanned the room, looking for someone to make an example of. With any luck, he'd be able to find someone ordinary to 'pick on'. It wasn't well known, but the only reason Snape favoured his house above the others was that if he didn't, then no-one else would. After all, none of the other teachers had ever awarded the house of snakes so much as one measly house point, and they all seemed to favour the lions. His eyes landed on a bleached student who for some reason was wearing white robes instead of the usual ones and sighed. Maybe if he could make an example of one of his own house, the others wouldn't be so anti-Slytherin. He doubted it, but it was worth a shot.

"Mister… Vimm Scryer was it?"

"Yes sir."

"What would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?"

"You would get a sleeping potion powerful enough for the user to be mistaken for dead, hence the name; the draught of living death."

Snapes eyebrows raised. This kid was _good_.

"Where would I find a bezoar?"

"The stomach of a goat." The two were locked in full-fledged verbal combat now.

"The difference between monkshood and wolfsbane?"

"The name. That is all."

"What is the wolfsbane potion?"

"A formula that allows a werewolf to keep complete control during a full moon."

"Where does the basilisk rank in terms of venom?"

"Second. Only beaten by the gorgons, who's venom causes instantaneous death upon contact with any part of the body, hair included. There have even been cases where the victims were nearly hit and still died. At least, this in the ability of the males, whereas the females bites inject a small sediment of rock that begins overtaking the body, quickly turning the victims flesh and blood to rock, making them indistinguishable from a finely crafted statue."

Snape simply stared at him, impressed. "Now, that is what you can know if you simply look at a book, imagine what you could do if you were able to create potions like that." There were a lot of impressed sounds and low whistles.

Harry was amazed that Snape didn't so much as give him a second glance, but hammered the living hell out of the Gryffindors, deducting points when Weasleys cauldron exploded and correcting them none-too-gently, destroying the potion and making them brew it from scratch with what materials they had left.

"Well. I knew Snape favoured his own house, but not _that _much!" stated Neville after the class finished, expecting do be attacked as much as the Gryffindors.

"That's the thing about Slytherin. We have to look out for each other, because no one else will." Murmured Blaise.

"I wonder why." Mused Hermione.

SVNF

Little happened until flying lessons were announced, so let's skip to when they and the Gryffindors were on the grounds, after Hooch had given instructions shall we?

"Up!" Yelled Harry, his broom rising into his hand as quickly as it had the first time.

"Up." Dracos broom rose steadily to his hand.

"Up." Hissed Vimm, glaring at the broom. It was still enough to get the broom to rise and launch full speed away from him. He shrugged, flying wasn't natural for his species anyway.

"Up!" barked Shadow, the broom flying into his hand. "This is so wrong." He muttered, mounting it and waiting for Hooch to give the signal to take off. Seamus was an idiot and did exactly what Neville did the first time round, landing with a painful sounding crack on his leg, which was bent at an unnatural angle. Hooch took him to the hospital wing and the Weasley glared at them.

"You jinxed his broom didn't you, you slimy snakes!"

"Prove it kid."

"I don't need to!" With that, he grabbed Nevilles Rememberall from his hand and took off with it, followed closely by Harry, who was followed by Vimm and Shadow. The redhead panicked, saying "Lets see if the disgrace can remember how to breathe without this!" and threw it straight down. Harry raced after it, just managing to catch it, while the brothers flew straight at the freckled idiot, punching him in the face simultaneously and knocking him from his broom.

"Shouldn't we go after him?"

"Yeah, we probably should. Our cover'll be blown if we just let 'im die." So they reluctantly saved the unconscious moron, but dropped him when they were sure he wouldn't die from the fall. Only Harry had the right to kill him.

"MISTER POTTER AND SCRYER… S!" Screamed Hooch

"Well, this can't be good. Or can it?" Vim murmured as they followed her.

"If ya don't mind me askin', what're ya gonna do to us?"

"Put you on the team." Harry would have jumped at the opportunity to play Quiditch again, but he knew that it would probably only get him killed again.

"I'm sorry professor, but I'm going to have to decline."

"What? Why?"

"It's hard to explain, but let's leave it at 'there are things I need to do, I can't really afford it.'"

"I see. A shame, but it's still your choice."

"Thanks professor."

**Omake**

**Take forty-two!**

**Shadow ripped Nevilles wand from his hand and pointed it at Lockheart. "Obliviate!" The ego freak in question blinked, turned blue and collapsed. "Did I get it right this time?"**

**Harry checked his pulse. "Too well. He's forgotten how to breathe."**

"**To hell with this, let's just kill him when the time comes!"**

"**Or, we could set Nightmare on him."**

"**I take it Nightmare does as her name suggests?" asked Harry.**

"**She locks idiots she hates like this guy in their own minds and forces them to experience their worst fears until they die." Answered Vimm.**

**The four began cackling evily.**


	5. The Shades

**Right. I've warned you, this is the chapter one of my OCs goes God of War on the troll. It will be brutal.**

**Oh right, I don't own anything except my original characters. Harry potter belongs to JK, any references to bleach belong to Tite Kubo, who I got the inspiration for Vimm from, (He started off as a roleplaying character. VIMM stands for Voice In My Mind and it went from there.) God of War belongs to someone in the games industry, even the songs I'm gonna use in future chapters ain't mine. I'm not that creative.**

Months had passed since Harry restarted his life, and he could honestly say he was enjoying it. Even though the brothers forced them through torturous exercises daily, he and the other Slytherins had improved beyond what he would have believed possible. Hermione was by far the most agile and the fastest, frequently passing the rest of them on her third lap when they'd hardly finished their first, Neville was the slowest, but undoubtedly the strongest, being able to block Shadows blows and constantly forsaking his kendo stick for his bare hands while they sparred. Blaise was neither especially quick or powerful, but spent his time during sparing searching for unprotected areas and flaws in his opponents technique, which he exploited. Draco focused on a combination of technique and speed, beaten only by Hermione in running, discovering the most beneficial push-up method and increasing the distance between him and his opponent, waiting for them to charge before dodging and attacking when they were still in a state of vulnerability if they proved too strong. Otherwise he'd just charge in and beat the crap out of his opponent. The time they spent training had changed them mentally as well, Neville was generally soft-spoken but would beat the living hell out of anyone who insulted the group that had become known as the 'Shades', already landing both Crabbe and Goyle in a coma that lasted four weeks. Blaise enjoyed the combat, but was just as dedicated to improving his academic abilities, Draco lived for the fight and had developed a casual, laid-back attitude when he wasn't beating Gryffindors who attacked or insulted the Shades to pulps with his kendo stick that he kept on his person at all times.

Hermione was still intelligent, but had calmed down a lot. Not enough to prevent her from having a nervous breakdown when she was cornered by Ron's gang and told she never truly had any friends to begin with. Preying on her lack of knowledge of the magic world, they played back 'recordings' of Harry and the others insulting and laughing at her behind her back. That would prove a bit of a problem to Harry, because the day said event occurred was All Souls Day, more commonly known as Halloween.

"Wait a minute." Harry paused, looking at the seat Hermione usually occupied, "where is she?"

Dracos face-splitting grin he'd gotten accustomed to wearing dropped. "I think I heard the Weasley twins saying something about their retard brother's gang 'proving' that she was nothing more than a tool to us. They said she was in the girls' bathroom, crying. I'll leave the arse-kicking to you this time. I don't know her as well as you." Harry stared at the gluttonous Gryffindor, extreme execution methods playing through his mind as Quirril did his troll in the dungeons routine and Dumbledore told the houses to go to their common rooms.

"Do you think he thought about the Slytherins?" growled Neville. "Our common room _is in _the dungeons!"

"I think that's the whole point. His house was the lions den." Answered Blaise before blanching in realization. "Wait a minute, Hermione doesn't know about it!"

Harry cursed himself for his stupidity, breaking off from the line of Slytherins with the other three, getting to the right hall just in time to see the troll lumber into a room.

"Damn it!" They ran after it, into the room, to see it staring stupidly at Hermione.

SVNF

Dumbledore smirked to himself. Of course the troll had already left, but if his redhead minion did what he was supposed to, the Granger girl should be dead by now and any competition for his minion's sister would be nonexistent.

"But those Scryers. I must find a way to destroy them! The Potter I need must be easily moldable! I need an unquestioning weapon if I am to become a god!"

"I'm sorry headmaster?" came the voice of professor Mcgonagall.

"Erm… I said the troll isn't here, it must have moved up! Check all the rooms thoroughly, it could be anywhere."

SVNF

"Fred?"

"Yes George?"

"What do you say we join the Shades?"

"I say that was sudden. I also say they don't seem as evil as everyone else seems to think. After all, one of their members landed the resident thugs in the hospital wing."

"And our Slytherin friends are in it."

"True, true. I heard Malfoy beat up our brothers gang by himself with only a stick. Kendo or something."

"Ah. Dad said that's a Japanese sport."

"Not my point. If he turned from a cowardly little ponce who used his father for protection, and Neville nearly killed Crabbe and Goyle, there must be something happening in that group."

"I want in. They don't seem to mind other houses if they're left alone or treated with respect."

"Hmm… I see what you mean. I don't doubt they're strong enough to take out a troll as they are."

SVNF

Harry choked as the troll held him against a wall. The three other male Shades were down, Hermione had tried to out-speed it but a lucky hit had thrown her against a wall, Draco actually managed to remove one of its eyes with his kendo stick, but that only made it furious. Harry snapped back to the present as he was thrown against a wall and the monster in question approached him, raising its club. It didn't look good.

"Like hell mate!" came a familiar voice. Shadow charged in behind the troll, unsheathed his sword, struck it behind the knee and stuck the claws on his now-monster form hand into the ground, slowing him down and tearing up tiles. As he straightened, he managed to bring his sword around for a second strike, severing a hand as it swung its club. Harry could only stare. The titan that took four students to destroy the eye of was getting solidly thrashed by a monster the size of a sixth year. Shadow jumped onto its knee and began climbing onto its shoulder, but was forced to let go as its remaining hand struck at him. He windmilled desperately until he found a solid hold. You see, his sword had eleven scythe-blades running down its one edge, the troll was made of flesh, blood and bone, all of which was very soft compared to the metal weapon. He embedded some of the scythes into the monsters shoulder and used it to steady himself before climbing onto its back. Harry was wondering how many games this guy played, 'it's beginning to look like a finisher sequence' he noted as his bodyguard grew his monster forms tail, arched it like a scorpion and began stabbing it into the trolls head repeatedly. When it fell to all fours, the Scryer back flipped off, grabbed its foot, physically picked it up, swung it over his head and threw it through a wall. Harry could have sworn he saw an O hovering above its head before it met its demise.

"Well. That was disappointingly easy." The monsters grin dropped as his eyes landed on the injured shades. "Vimm." Said albino entered the room and picked up Neville and Blaise, immediately leaving with them. ''What… I don't…" he sighed, shaking his head. Did you really try to beat that thing with wands and kendo sticks?" Harry nodded mutely. "Yep. You're an idiot meatshield, through and through." He paused as footsteps approached, grabbed the rest of the Shades and said "Let's get outta here." The shadows enveloped them and Harry suddenly found himself in the common room.

"What just happened?"

"Only kind of magic I _can _use. Shadow control. I've had Vimm do my spells for me since the beginning of the school year." He looked at Harry and sighed. "You know, I'm a lot like that. I charge straight into combat without a second thought, even when I was alive. What? You didn't think we were born dead did ya?" He said at Harrys confused expression. "Let's just say us four fought an army of S.N.O.W.-

"Snow?"

"Super Nazis Of War. Anyway, it was their last force and I thought it'd be fun. It… didn't go as planned. We killed their leader and wore them down to the last five men, but said men were snipers. They were beyond our reach and I was too tired to fly, blast them with darkness or throw my blade. Its hilt-chain extends, it's a ranged weapon. I'm not one of those idiots who thinks a sword's for ranged combat and a gun's for melee. We died that day, but we got the last laugh. Our supporters numbered by the thousands."

"Your point?"

"Don't go in over your head, it'll only get ya killed and ya won't live to enjoy it. Wait 'till ya get your soul blade before fighting things like that to the death." He turned to leave, but paused. "Gotta say though, ya got good teamwork if ya could destroy that things eye. Maybe you're all closer to the title of Overlord than I thought." He left, leaving Harry's mind racing. What did he mean by 'four'?

SVN**F**

There was a flash outside the common room and a girl appeared. She was around the height of a fourth year, bleached white like Vimm, a bobcut, yellow eyes and a pair of bracers with three wolverine-style claws extending from them hanging at her side.

"He meant someone who'd help, but is only here to deliver a message." She said softly, muttering the password and entering without catching anyone's attention and moving towards Shadow and Vimm, the latter of who saw her and raised an eyebrow.

"Not that I'm not grateful, but why are you here?"

"Same as usual. A message. You can't kill innocents, and at the moment, the students all count. You also can't declare war on someone. But if they declare war on you and aim to kill…" she trailed off.

"Well?" pressed Shadow eagerly.

"Anything goes." She replied before disappearing.

**A.N. I know Hermione's character's really stupid, but I wanted to do the troll scene, couldn't think of another way around it and figured that I could use her overall lack of magic knowledge for ol' 'I'm so much better than you' and co. to create a fake recording. Now! Omake time!**

"**Idiot!" roared Shadow furiously.**

"**Moron!" answered his brother.**

"**Dumbass!"**

"**Look who's talking! You can't even use magic! Then again, your girlfriend's a kunoichi so I shouldn't be surprised Shad!"**

"**I don't like that name, or anything beyond by capabilities! And what does Honji have to do with anything? If that's the case, your girlfriend's an orc!"**

"**So? She's a cute orc!" they butted heads, staring at each other with utter hatred.**

**Hermione blinked. "What are they doing?"**

**Harry just shook his head. "They were arguing over the best method of lawn mowing."**


	6. Trials of magic

... and an unexpected problem.

Okay. I don't think that last chapter went that well and I'm sorry if it disappointed anyone.

Cassandra30 – Who do you think you're talking about? Of course not.

Rattler 1 – I'm not mate, but it's taking longer than expected. I need to motivate myself somehow.

"So what you're saying-"

"Is that ya wanna join the Shades? You do know that they all got thrashed by the troll right?"

"Yes, but have you _seen _what Malfoy does to our brothers group?" grinned Fre- no, it was George. "And everyone knows it's damn hard to take out a troll with magic. They're just like giants and giant spiders, but they look more like orcs-" his hands flew to his face as he screamed in pain, blood pouring through his fingers from his broken nose. That same blood covered Vimms fist.

"Sorry about that," grinned Shadow, sheepishly, "he's even worse at controlling himself than I am. But seriously, any good wizard should've been able ta take out the troll. So why didn't they use magic?"

"Well, the most powerful non-dark-" Shadows eye twitched, "- spell is the reducto spell, and that's hardly enough to make it stagger. They're _very _resistant to magic."

"What about five to the head simultaneously?"

"Enough to annoy it." There was a brief pause as Shadow stared at the redhead twins before cracking a grin.

"I think we might just have our connection to the house of Lions hey Vimm?"

"I concur." The twins grinned, bowed, turned and left. "Now for the Ravens and Badgers. Kid, that plan was perfect."

Harry grinned evilly as he appeared from underneath his invisibility cloak. Months had passed since the night of the troll, which had worked wonders for the scarred one and actually made him determined to do the best he could, especially since he had hardly helped in the fight. Even though he was the last of the Shades to change, it was obvious he was the leader of the pack, the big daddy, the overlord so to speak. Even Vimm, the bleached genius, was surprised at how he was progressing. He had abandoned his kendo stick in favour of a staff. No-one knew why.

"I don't know about the Hufflepuffs, but I think I know a Ravenclaw."

"Who?" Shadow simply stared at his brother, facepalmed and sighed in exasperation.

"Who the hell do you think?"

"…"

"Why are the smart ones always the dumbest?"

"Oi! I resem-" The white one shook his head, " I mean I resent that!"

"Sure you do teachers pet." Grinned Harry, amused.

"Why does everyone hate me?" Howled Vimm in mock hurt.

SVNF

It was nearing the end of the school year, and the shades reputation was spreading at an alarming rate. More than once, Harry and the brothers had been asked why they didn't just take down the old man there and then, only to be informed that although cliché', an epic battle was simply 'more poetic'.

After the redhead twins had joined, the eternally sadistic Scryer twins had decided to teach them 'natural magic' as they called it. They said everything was strong in a certain area and if trained properly, they could gain total dominance over it as was demonstrated by Shadow disappearing into the darkness and dragging Blaise into his own shadow. Much laughter was had, but the dark one eventually had to retrieve the furious Slytherin for fear of forgetting him completely.

SVNF

"I don't see why we needed to wait until now to get the stone." Murmured Hermione as the human members of the shades approached the third floor, "couldn't we have retrieved it earlier?"

"Not really. I know for a fact that someone's going down there tonight and Vimm thinks it'll be a good test." Answered Harry, his staff slung over his shoulder.

"Where is old whitey anyway?" Came the loud, bored voice of Draco Malfoy.

"He said he'd meet us there. Shadow's going to be watching the whole thing." Blaise, as usual, essentially calmness incarnate. Neville raised an eyebrow.

"And the Weasleys?"

"Trying to push our head of house over the edge. He already knows and agreed to humour them. What _I _want to know is why we have to act mostly innocent around the old fart."

"So he doesn't get too suspicious. If he does, everything will go up in flames. I don't even want to think about how low he'll stoop to maintain his image to the wizarding world. But the reason we've been able to do what we've been doing is because of our trainers sister. You haven't known fear until you've seen her. Hey Vimm."

"Hey. Ya ready?"

"Whole reason we came whitey!" Vimm just sighed and unsheathed his weapon which melted and reformed into-

"A guitar? Seriously?"

"You kids are seriously testing my patience." He raised a hand… and proceeded to play cliffs of Dover. There was an enormous thud from inside the room. "I'll keep playing. Go, go, go!" he hissed and they were down the trapdoor faster than the white one would have believed possible for Humans.

SVNF

"Devils snare." Growled Neville. "Draco, you're the pyro here." The Malfoy sighed but emitted a wave of flame anyway, incinerating the plant entirely but leaving his friends untouched.

"One of these days…"

"Strange you should hate magic when you've been brought up like you were." Observed Hermione.

"I hate _using _magic."

"Fair enough. I have to wonder though, are all the traps like this? I would have thought they'd be harder than something a first year could beat."

"I blame the old fart!" Came the voice of Harry, who was already in the key room.

After everyone caught up, Draco grinned and seized a broom, only to be reminded that although this was most likely done by Flitwick, the other old man was probably stupid enough to forget something vital.

"Accio correct key!" Yelled Hermione, proving her point. Draco looked put out, to say the least.

"You cheated! There's no way! Even if Dumbles forgot, Flitwick wouldn't! I declare hacks!" Hermione didn't react, but he noticed Blaise was looking uncomfortable, his hand and the key in Hermiones sparking a bit. "I knew it! You used your sky voodoo didn't you?"

"Is now _really _the time?" growled Harry, eyes closed and teeth clenched.

"No sir!" barked the two.

"Good." They entered the chess room. "Um, can anyone play chess really, really well?" He was met with silence. "Bugger." Neville stepped forward wordlessly, his hand outstretched. "Nev? What are you-" Neville clenched his fist and cracks began to appear in the white pieces. "Everyone! Take cover!" Everyone save the fist-fighter retreated to the key room, closing the door behind them.

Neville frowned. These things obviously had reinforcement charms on them in case anyone tried to destroy them, but he was the master of earth and stone. As if something like that could stop him! The pieces cracked once more and shattered with enough force to shake the room, sending debris everywhere, the earth master included. Thankfully though, he was exactly that and the stone either changed course as it approached him or else disintegrated entirely.

"That was harder than expected." He said, his voice hardly above a whisper, but more than enough to send the Gryffiondors running away with their tails between their legs on more than a few occasions.

"Yo Harry! He's speakin'! He's actually talkin'!"

"Draco… You're an idiot."

"You wound me!"

"And I will in a minute if you don't get moving."

Nothing happened for the next room due to the resident trolls state.

"Do you think it's dead?" Inquired Hermione.

Without a word, it began surging with electricity and disappeared in a bloody and bony explosion. There was a stunned silence.

"It is now." Answered Harry, ever the master of the obvious.

"SKY VOODOO!" Barked Draco, pointing accusingly at Blaise, who merely smirked.

Poison, wine and potion room.

"Fire?" Draco asked. "Seriously? Too easy." With that, he strode through the flames to the mirror room.

"I'll kill him." Growled Blaise.

"SKY VOODOO!" came the dragons voice

"He keeps saying that. What did you do?" asked Hermione, her eyes narrowed.

"I uh… kinda fried the lake when he was swimming. Before he awakened his potential. It was non-lethal! Nothing died! Biggest problem was the giant squid doing aerial back flips!" He defended, seeing his friends death-glare him.

"So that's what happened to it. Ah well, I haven't been able to test my profession yet, so here we go." Declared Hermione, staring at each of the bottles in turn. "Those have poison, those have wine, that one gets us forward, that one goes back." Without another word, she downed the poison. "Yep!" She grinned after a few seconds. "It works." With that, she downed a drop of the forward potion and stepped through the flames. As did the remaining three Shades.

"I must admit Potter, I didn't think you'd bring backup." Snarled Quirrel, glaring at… well, everyone. Seriously, whaddya expect a silently sulking two-faced ego freak to do? Try to actually do something? Yeah right. "But I have the power of my master! I will no- Cannot sorry, cannot lose!"

"Dude, why say two syllables when ya could've just said can't? Or won't?" Asked Draco, his tone and expression expressing how he felt. He was _dead. Frikin'. Bored._ "Anyway, we ain't gonna fight ya, he is." He gestured at Harry and the Shades moved away.

"Before we begin Potter, my master has been itching to see you. Face. To. Face."

"Cut the drama purple. Ol' Moldyshorts will get his soon enough."

"What did you say brat?" Thundered Riddles' voice, causing nearly all the shades to take a step back in alarm. Harry made a mental note to tell them everything from now on. When it was just about to happen. If he didn't, it'd be that much harder to keep Dumbles in the dark. Regardless, Toms voice was enough to blow off the turban, but Draco always insisted that it withered due to his breath, pointing out the difficulty of brushing teeth on the back of ones head. "QUIRREL! KILL HIM! We can use one of these guys later. And where do you keep the smokes? Seriously dude, I need a ciggy!"

"You always need a ciggy! Why do you think I hid them?"

"'Cause you're not cool anymore."

"I don't want to get cancer because you can't kick the habit. I know what happened to your last host."

"You suck dude. But KILL HIM!"

"Avada K-" He was cut off when a staff smacked him under the ribs, followed by a kick to the nuts and the same stick being brought down on his head. Quirrelmort looked up from his fetal position, utterly terrified and begged. "Please… I'll… do anything."

"I'll hold you to that. Freeze." Hissed Harry, finally using his magic strength. Hermionie looked a bit disturbed, Blaise looked curious, Neville looked like he was made of stone, his serious expression unchanged and Draco was grinning maniacally as Voldemorts host slowly turned pale blue, literally freezing. Harry brought his weapon down on the petrified form, shattering it and let the broken pieces thaw. There was no reason to keep them frozen, Toms spirit shouldn't have enough power to reform the body. Key word, shouldn't. Just like he shouldn't be able to use a host in the first place. The pieces of Quirrels shattered body began assembling, somehow managing to form Voldemorts body. Harry made a mental note to get Draco to vaporize the remains next time, just as said Malfoy made that exact same note.

"Potter." Snarled Tom. "DUDE! THAT IS JUST NOT COOL! Get your own host and let me smash it. Then see how _you _like it! But You're no match for me. Even with your Overlord potential, none of you have a prayer. Yes, I know about Overlords. I've killed more than I can count. You see, I had Overlord potential when I was a kid like yourself. I milked it for all it was worth, then I rose to power as lord Voldemort. The first and only time an Overlord has become an antilord. I became an antilord with the power of an Overlord and this!" He barked, "Is my soulblade!" A mass of tentacles erupted from his back, writhing and changing shape, into arms, weapons, arms holding weapons or just remaining tentacles.

"What in the hell?" Hollered Draco, his eyes comically huge, "That makes no sense!"

"Yes it does. You see," an arm holding a longsword with two inch spikes running along the blade lowered, "this is my soulblade. I named it mind-splitter."

"So what's with the tentacles?" Tom Grimaced at the question.

"An… unfortunate side effect of becoming an antilord."

"Yeah, we call that 'ego-mass'." Came a familiar voice from the shadows, from which stepped a character sharing their name. "Vimm's been trying to figure out how it works, but keeps gettin' stuck at 'the more self-absorbed the antilord, the bigger its ego-mass, the better its shape-shifting abilities and the stronger it is'. Makes absolutely no sense, but there ya have it. So, what's happenin'?"

"He just revealed he's both anti and over." Replied Hermionie.

'I'm sorry?" He stared at Tom. "Vimm'll have a new research topic when he hears of this. There've been antilords who were stronger than Overlords, but this is the first I've heard of someone with both… stay back. Things are about to get serious."

A/N; Before ya ask me, I figured that if Quirrel didn't die from… whatever the hell it was he couldn't touch, then maybe Voldemort could overtake the body completely. As for the body reconstruction, it should make sense when his magical affinity's revealed. But to keep him from becoming overpowered, he can only do it to a body he wasn't controlling when it died and can only do it say, once? Per year? … Yep. That'd work. Trust me though, his magical affiliation is far from useless. And his "Horcruxes" still exist so the brothers'll leave for a short time to obliterate them. The aforementioned technique also doesn't work if he's well and truly dead with no anchors to the material plane.

**Omake**

"**So what can you do?" Asked Harry, excessively bored.**

"**Come again?"**

"**Your abilities. You know, your magic strengths."**

"**Oh right. Well ya can kinda guess what mine is, Vimm can control light, making light clones, beams of concentrated light powerful enough to incinerate damn near everything and Nightmare's mental."**

"**I already know that. What I **_**want **_**to know is-"**

"**Yeah, yeah, I got it. Very funny. Har har harrr." He blinked and punched a parrot that had just landed on his shoulder, which disappeared in a mass of feathers and a high-pitched squawk. "But seriously, don't piss her off. Ever."**

"**Why?"**

"**You know Freddy Krueger?"**

"**Yeeeeeeeees."**

"**His severed, terrified, screaming head is her prized trophy." Harry Shuddered.**

"**Right. Don't insult the horror. Duly noted."**


	7. Trials of survival

**Okay, since I'm really used to RPing on a forum, the fight's going to be less of a story and more of a script. Because I really want to add this music to it. I appologise in advance, it won't happen again. I promise. To make up for it, I'll try to make this one longer than usual.**

**Yes, Nightmare will turn up sometime. She really, really hates Ginny and lets not forget, her magic's mental so not even the victim knows, or can prove, it's being done.**

**Katdemon- You'll find out. I'm saving revealing Vimms species 'till the fight against the Basilisk and Shadow's a monster of my own creation. And the final Scryer sibling is Human, but probably won't **

**Also, this chapter won't have an Omake. Sorry.**

"So you're an Overlord? Hmm. I probably would have guessed, but I was the set of eyes in the back of my hosts head. It gets boring staring at the inside of a turban all day." Tom snatched his sword from his tentacle and readied it. "Although I think some music would help." Without a word, Shadow produced a CD player from nowhere and hit play. Without plugging it in. Liberation (Immediate music) started playing.

"It's been a long time since I've taken a fight seriously." Whispered the Scryer, wings sprouting from his back, growing a tail, fingers becoming clawed, teeth sharpening and skin turning tar black. He lunged at Tom as the song reached 0:36. The music link's at the end.

Tom: *Strikes, blinking when Shadow slides under his feet, taking them out*

Shadow: *Pulls tom to his feet, smashes him in the face with his head and throws him against a wall, full-force* Pathetic. *Dodges as several tentacles are sent at him* severs them and throws his sword at Tom, who dodges.* *Leaves it and runs after the undead guy.*

Tom: *Grins* *A skeletal hand erupts from the ground and grabs his opponents ankle*

Shadow: *Staggers, but rips off the hand nonetheless* *Smashes Tom into a wall. Again.* Let's finish this-

Tom: - Without weapons or magic! *Retracts his tentacles* *Shoulder-rams Shadow, grabs his head and grinds it into the floor*

Shadow: *Gets up* Overlord Shadow Scryer is VERY PISSED OFF! *Headbutts Tom with nearly enough force to crack his skull and leaps to the other end of the room, off the wall and back at Tom*

Tom: *Leaps up at Shadow, grabs him with a few tentacles. The force carries them almost to the ceiling, he maneuvers the two so he's in a standing position while Shadow's over his shoulders, facing up. He begins falling*

Shadow: Oh this is gonna- *CRACK* OW! Backbreaker! Not cool!

Tom: *Slings Shadow off his back and into the ground*

Shadow: *Gets up, stabs both hands at Toms face, is blocked, kicks him in the chest, staggering him. Disappears into darkness* If you can break the rules, then so can I! *Appears behind Tom, grabs his head, pulls it back so his neck's exposed, bites his throat and rips it out*

Shadow let the corpse fall, his spine at an unnatural angle.

"So, he's dead? I mean again?" Asked Draco.

"Just a sec." He snapped his spine back into position and breathed a sigh of relief. "The guy was tougher than I thought. And that wasn't even his body."

"Damn!"

"Damn is correct. But can any of you tell me what magic he can use?"

"Death magic. He's a necromancer." Answered Hermione.

"Correct!"

"So that would mean that his Horcruxes are vital to him for more than one reason?" "I once read about Overlords and Antilords. I never really believed in them, but it said that the more Horcruxes an antilord necromancer has, the stronger he is."

"Actually, it's the same power he'd get from seven hundred zombies. It's an aura of undeath. By being near the undead, his power increases. By having Horcruxes, his power stays that way. In other words, he's literally seven hundred times stronger than he should be. That being said, that wasn't his body and actually **being **a zombie decreases his strength by half and with all the anti-undead charms this place has… I'd say that was probably his genuine, un-augmented power. And believe me when I say it is literally as annoying as hell." Murmured Vimm, strolling in.

"Why? It can't be _that _bad."

"Have _you _beaten up the legions of the damned when you were bored? No? Didn't think so. Have _you_ had to fight an antilord necromancer who pounded the crap out of you when he was surrounded by thousands of living corpses that took hours to destroy due to sheer numbers then gone back to the antilord only to find out that he was too weak to support himself and died under his own body weight? All _forty. Kilos?_"

"Erm, no."

"Good. Make sure you don't. It's annoying." His guitar reformed into his usual poleblade, which he held above his head before declaring "THIS! IS MY **DOOMSTICK**!" Before throwing it at the mirror or erised/desire. The mirror shattered and emitted an unearthly scream. "I knew it. Flamell's a necromancer."

"D-don't tell me he's-"

"Don't worry, he's not an antilord. Worry about the fact that the shade was trying to get it. If he had, he would be unstoppable. I shit you not."

"So is there any way he can sti-"

"No. He's need dimension magic for that and that's very, very, _very. _Rare. Besides, we already know he specializes in Death magic and the dimension pocket in the mirror imploded when it smashed. It's literally not possible to get the stone anymore." With that, he summoned his weapon back to his hand, slung it across his back, moved to stand beside Harry, facing the direction the scarred one wasn't and whispered, "Shadow's the strongest, but I'm the best at accuracy and techniques. I'm sorry." Before spinning behind Harry and delivering a solid chop to the back of his neck. The last thing the Overlord-in-training felt before everything went dark were hands catching him before he hit the ground.

A/N; Hmm. Generally, I'd love to leave it on a cliffhanger, but I truly despise those and I promised I'd make this chapter longer. So, there might be a few SVNFs. And no, I have no plans for the stone in the future. Or any dimension magic.

"How could you tell wha-"

"I could feel your brainwaves. I can only do it if I try and it gets really annoying after a while."

"F-"

"Yes, feel. I feel vibrations in the air and translate them into words. I can't hear. It doesn't come with my species."

"Will you stop cutting me o-"

"Never."

"I thought Draco was the comic relief." Growled Hermione under her breath.

SVNF

A few days later, in the great hall, the conscious Shades were discussing the possibilities for their soul blades based on their personalities and abilities.

"Bet mine's a sword of some kind! Here's hopin' it looks _brutal_!"

"You're not having mine!" Barked Shadow, leaning away from Draco as he eagerly eyed the overblade.

"It matters not what I have. I will continue to use my fists unless the situation turns dire." Growled Neville.

Vimm shook his head, amazed at how they were casually talking about something no-one was supposed to know about, in a room filled with people who weren't supposed to know about it. Then he felt a voice he hadn't in days, snapped to attention and muttered "Harry's awake." Before taking off at top speed to the hospital wing, followed by the others. On the way though…

"Traitors to the light! Dark wizard scum! Sna-" Vimm grabbed him by the throat, still running, and threw him head-first at a wall. Draco slowed down, stopped, looked at Rons allies, grinned, drew his kendo stick, said "It's been a loooong time. How have you been," in a mechanical voice and proceeded to beat the crap out of them while his friends kept running.

Harry silently breathed a sigh of relief as the old man left. It had been at least ten minutes since the disguised interrogation had begun and he'd had to spin a story of betrayal, hope, courage, love and other things that had been clichéd to death. In other words, he needed a serious Scryer training session to blot out his sudden urge to shoot himself. Hell, even _Nightmare _would be a welcome distraction. Speaking of the she-devil, he couldn't help but wonder where her siblings wer-

The sound of crashing, a horn blaring and a cat yowling reached his ears.

- That would be them.

"You're late." He observed.

"Sorry, just heard you now."

"So. I want an explanation."

"Explanation?"

"Yes! About my spine! It's still aching!"

"Dumbles already knew what'd happen ta ya if ya touched him and expected for ya to pass out." Explained the dark one. "If the guy gets to cautious, he starts casting memory charms and I _really _don't want to forget my own species. Vimm'd be fine, but trust me, having the memory suppressors removed _hurts_!"

"I see. So about the reaction, what actually caused it?"

…

"Purple being unable to touch me and vice-versa?"

"Overlords and antilords are complete opposites. Quirrel on his own had antilord potential, coupled with Toms unnatural balance, his Overlord was half as strong as the combined antilord. Add your overlord and the two are perfectly balanced. The ultimate oxymoron, it can't sustain itself and breaks down. Think of it as two opposing forces. The combined antilord was stronger than the overlord so it was suppressed, leaving the antilord dominant. If your overlord potential was thrown into the equation, they're at equal strength and begin fighting for control, metaphorically speaking. They break down the hosts connection to his body and, well, kill him."

"Don't you ever get tired of hearing yourself talk?"

"Can't hear so no."

"But it still doesn't-" Vimm sighed.

"Toms impossible balance got thrown out of whack when mixed with his host and the host of his horcrux, happy?"

"I am now."

"So that means," observed Blaise, "that if that link is destroyed, he won't react in any way, shape or form on contact?"

"Not really. If the shade was possessing someone with antilord abilities then yes, but other than that, no. Not a hope in hell."

Shadow sighed, looked at the writer and roared "WILL YOU FUCKING GET ON WITH IT?" Then turned back to the conversation.

"We'll meet you at the great hall when you're ready." They made to leave, and ran into Draco. "Where've you been?" Draco just shrugged.

"Here and there. Beat up Griffondors, quoted GLaDOS, made a note to get a new kendo stick," he spared it a glance, as did the other shades, wincing when they saw several dents in it, one of which looked suspiciously like the scalp of Dean Thomas.

"But that- I don't- How did-" stammered Shadow, staring at it. "Seriously! It's made of _wood_! _How can it bend like that and not break_?"

"Dunno."

SVNF

"-And in first place Slytherin!" Announced the brain-dead old man, who was surprised when most of the groans came from the Gryffindor table. He'd thought everyone hated the snakes and would join his favorite house in, well, groaning. "However! There are a few changes that need to be made!" He called, moving around the staff table to stand in front of it, believing this would help him to show just how 'magnificent' he believed himself to be.

Professors McGonagall, Flitwick and Snape looked at each other guiltily. And now, a flashback is needed to understand.

_FLASHBACK;_

"_What did he do this time?" Severus sighed. The headmaster had frequently been throwing tantrums ever since the sorting, constantly complaining that Harry was supposed to be in the house of __**Lions and Light**__ not __**Snakes and Darkness**__ and had shown his feelings through increasingly dangerous acts._

"_He burnt down the greenhouses." Okay, that one was going to far._

"_That's going too far." I just said that damnit. "We need… a memory charm. And some custom memories. And professor Flitwick."_

"_Flitwick said the same thing."_

"_Good. When the old fart isn't looking, he'll get three stunners in the back."_

"_But won't that kill him?"_

"_It might, but since when did you care?" He looked up at the sound of a certain bird call. "Or anyone for that matter."_

"_It's never a good sign when your own familiar doesn't care. Right! False memories for Potter & co's house sorting. I'll be back."_

_END FLASHBACK;_

"First! To mister Draco Malfoy," the occupants of the hall looked at him as if he'd just proclaimed he represented the lollypop guild while moon walking on a giant floating phoenix piñata dressed as a giant penguin. Which he probably would've done given the chance. "For putting the safety of his friends before his pride! Second!" He called over the non-existent applause, To mister Neville Longbottom!"

"Dude, you should really get that name changed." The responding glare forced Draco raise his bent stick, along with a butter knife and his plate in defense. He may have been the most brutal fighter after Shadow, but Neville was by far the hardest hitter. I _did_ mention he landed Slytherins two resident thugs in comas did I not?

"For finding the quickest and easiest way around a puzzle which no-one else, not even he, could understand. Third, to Miss Hermione Granger!"

"He forgot me." Murmured Blaise.

"Sky voodoo!" Several dozen students just stared.

"For cool logic in the face of fire! Fourth to mister Harry Potter, for risking his life to do the right thing!"

"Does he even check what he's saying, or did he rehearse this?"

"Long before now mate." Sighed Shadow.

"And finally to mister Shadow Scryer! For risking his life to save those of others!"

"Wow. Cheesy much? Hey Vimm, regurgitate that mouse so we can make a bad pun." The albino in question just flipped him the finger.

"I award one hundred and fifty points," he paused for dramatic effect, "apiece. That being said, I'm also deducting fifty points from mister Vimm Scryer because he BROKE MY FRIKIN' MIRROR! But now, and I am _so sorry _Slytherins, it seems we are in need of new decoration!" He paused, looking hopefully at the green and silver, his smile slowly disintegrated as he turned to look at the house hourglasses to see emeralds in the one that represented Slytherin still rising. He turned as white as Vimm, screamed like a little girl (No offence to any actual girls) and fainted. There was silence for a few moments. Before most of the hall erupted into cheers for the Slytherins. Vimm fingered the weapon across his back, unslung it, walked over to Dumbledore, kicked him out of the way, faced the students, had his weapon melt into the form of an electric guitar and raised his hand.

"What's he-"

"Shut up," hissed Shadow, "just listen."

Vimm paused in that position for a few seconds, noticing all eyes were on him, grinned and struck a cord, followed by the masterpiece which was known as Canon rock.

"But he- I don't- isn't his weapon a glaive?" stammered Draco, staring at Vimm in disbelief.

"What did I say about only the wielder of a soulblade knowing how to use it?"

"This is completely different!"

"Yes it is." Acknowledged Shadow, turning back to his brother, "Yes it is." He said quietly. After it had finished, he was given a standing ovation by the students, a confused look by Snape and a curse by the recently revived Dumbledore for stealing the stage. He dodged it and whacked the old man in the head with his guitar, knocking him out again, but the hall was too busy cheering, or sulking in the case of half the lions table, to notice. Or care for that matter.

SVNF

Later, on the train, they were sitting down, waiting for it to depart. Harry had thought of a way to remove Voldemorts soul fragment and was desperately thinking of an alternative since it involved his worst fear, Blaise was playing chess with Neville and Hermione (Yes, it was three-way chess. Hermione's and Vimms creation. It worked better with four,) and Draco was trying to hammer his kendo stick back into shape with limited success.

"So, where are they?" asked Harry.

"Swimming across the lake with the Weasley twins." Replied Draco, not looking up from what he was doing. There was a howl and the giant squid landed beside the train, nearly knocking it off the tracks, its eye right outside their window. "And that would be them." He looked up., then back to his friends. "Is there really a kraken outside our window?" They nodded and he dropped his weapon. "Screw this, I need some butterbeer and a firewhisky."

The ride back was uneventful. As in, Draco got frustrated and nearly threw his kendo stick out the window, Vimm thrashed everyone in four-way chess fourty seven times, Harry bought the entire snack cart because his friends didn't have anything and Shadow slept the whole way.

SVNF

"Now you listen here _boy_." Sneered Vernon, holding Harry by the neck against the cupboard, "there will be no funny business in my house, or so help me, they'll never find all the pieces! I don't know what you learned at that _freak _school, but come hell or high water, I will _beat it out of you_!" Um, let's skip the next scene. Seriously, the brothers had something planned for the summer holidays and were **not **happy when they saw what was going on, but still left it at broken bones, nothing more. The _obviously _unprovoked assault on the Dursleys was completely forgotten after half an hour with no leads.

"Right!" Barked Shadow, "We've gathered you all here because we think that you can unlock your soulblades earlier than we expected!"

"_I _thought that." Corrected Vimm.

"Earlier than he expected!" Barked his brother. "As such-"

"Let me handle this. You're starting to act like a sergeant again. Anyway, we nutted out a few trials for you. In the environments you'll have most trouble. I think that if you survive, you might get your soulblades. I happens in random situations. I got mine when I was in serious need of a weapon, my White Wyvern formed in my hands, I killed a troll and threw it at his tamer. Might not come out in a dire situation for you, but it could, I don't know. Right! We're taking you to our home world for this. It's got the harshest environments I can think of. Draco, you have to survive the frozen wastelands, Neville, the wetlands, watch out for Sarlac slugs. Blaise, you'll be in the mountains. I know you can use electricity, but that doesn't mean you can use it to get anywhere. Hermione, you'll survive the volcanic wastelands. Make use of your speed."

"Wait wait wait wait. Shouldn't _I _go there?"

"What did I just say? Anyway, you'll have to survive the desert."

"Easy. Move only at night."

"With Nightmare hunting you."

"WOAH! Okay, change of plans."

"Wait," said Hermione, picking up on something, "did you say homeworld?"

"Yes. You see-"

"We didn't start off our lives in the spiritual plain, ya know? We just took the jobs 'cause we screwed up big time and it was the only way we wouldn't get tortured for all eternity. By succeeding, we save ourselves too. And you have no _idea _how good it is to be alive again! But we can't have ya knowing how ta get there, so-" each of the shades was hit in the back of the neck by Vimm, "There ya have it."

SVNF

Harry groaned and sat up, taking in the surrounding landscape. For the most part, it was sand. Nothing but sand. And a few rocks. And a palm tree he was sitting under. And a note attached to the tree. Wait, what? He ripped it off and read it.

_Harry, you're probably wondering why you were just dumped here. Don't worry, it wasn't only you, the rest of the shades are probably only just waking up now as well. The only things you have to do, are survive and make it back alone. Three species live in the desert. Grey orcs, green orcs and giant insects. Avoid the last two at all costs and just be glad I convinced Shadow to leave you in the shade. He thought it would be funny just to watch you roast._

"Son of a," he growled, "Okay, think. If I can find these grey orcs, they might tell me how to get back to civilization." He looked around. "But WHERE ARE THEY?" He sighed and began trudging, encasing himself in ice that moved as he did. Then began running, remembering that Nightmare was after him.

SVNF

_Hey Draco! Sorry about this mate, but we can't let ya have an unfair advantage._

"But you could've told me that I'd be FREEZING MY ARSE OFF!" He roared, stuck in a blizzard.

_And you're probably complaining 'bout freezing your arse off. If ya get lucky, ya could run into the blue orcs or my people. Don't worry, they're not all as insane as I am and the blues are surprising cool and collected for orcs. Wait. I just wrote that didn't I? Ah well, all ya need ta do is get ta civilization in one piece. See ya!_

"His people? I wonder what they look like." He mused, setting himself on fire.

SVNF

_Hello Neville. I have never met you, but I can still try to help you. If you hear something… strange, in an area, move the other way. Sarlac slugs actually actively erupt from the ground to attack their prey rather than waiting for them to fall in. They camouflage themselves by appearing to grow trees. If you actively look for them, they are easy to notice, but they are also few in number and are hunted by trolls._

"Trolls? That is unusual."

_They are not the trolls you know. They are tall, lanky and form small tribes. It is still a good idea to avoid them though. All you have to do is make it back to the city alive._

_-Fsoi Scryer_

SVNF

Hermione pelted away from oncoming lave, thanking whoever was listening that she was able to scan the letter quickly.

_Hiya! I'm Nightmare Scryer! My big brothers wanted me to tell ya to get back safe and sound, so try making friends with the red orcs and my harpy family! Have fun!_

She was way too cheerful.

SVNF

Blaise stared at the note, rubbed his eyes and stared again. No, he saw correctly. Shortest note ever.

_Get back. Avoid dwarves, elves and rock golems._

_-Honji Tsu_

"You have _got _to be kidding me," he muttered as he looked for a way down.

A/N: Yeah, I know the Portal 2 trailer wasn't around back then, but it's been modernized for my convenience and familiarly. I don't have to spend time researching exactly what they had back then. I'm lazy like that. Fsoi sounds like Soy. As you might have guessed, my OCs aren't biological siblings. Honji Tsu is Shadows girlfriend and this is her biggest part in the story. I have plans not to have plans for her.

Liberation- .com/watch?v=Q2p_X1g-z5w

Canon Rock- .com/watch?v=j2fZLh8XSnY&feature=related

Preview

Draco dodged and launched another blast of fire, hitting the (Bipedal, twenty foot tall) insect in the face, once again only annoying it. The monster followed up by grabbing him with two of its hands, bringing it up to head height and hissing. Draco gagged.

"Oh I think I'm gonna be sick. Ever heard of breath freshener? Well neither have I 'till recently but that's no excuse!" It slammed him against the cliff face and began crushing him. "Ow… Oooh I think my spine just snapped! This really, really hurts!" It emitted a deep croaking/clicking sound that could only be one thing. Laughter. Draco saw red. He could tolerate being chewed out, cut, forced through a Scryer training session, hell! He'd even been able to tolerate Ron's gang for a time, but he would **not **stand for being laughed at! "Okay. You've beaten the crap outta me. Is throwing me through a glacier not enough for you?" He roared in fury, a metal weapon forming in his hand and emitting a flaming explosion powerful enough to stagger the insect, forcing it to drop him.

"My name," he growled, getting to his feet, "Is Draco Malfoy. And THIS!" He roared, raising his weapon, "is **MY **Boomstick!"


	8. Trials of combat

*Groans* Wow. Has it really been that long since the last update? I'm gettin' slack mate! Thanks for the favourites, reviews, hell! Thanks for anyone who read this thing in the first place! … Except that troll.

Disclaimer; Believe it or not, I am **not **a woman, and I'm not as old as JK, so I can't be her. All I own are my own characters and the universe the HP characters are in right now. I also own Shadows species, the Sagrotan.

Harry ran. He didn't care that he was out of his element, he didn't care that the flexible ice suit he created to cool himself was melting faster than he could make it, he didn't care that he was exhausted, all he cared about was putting as much distance between himself and Nightmare as possible. He had no idea where she was, but from the mental image she just sent him, if she caught up, she'd reduce him to a nervous wreck. He was already slightly Coulrophobic, but he'd never look at clowns the same way again. Spines were _not _supposed to twist like that!

"Okay… Okay. I think… I'm going nuts." He panted, leaning against a convenient wall. With a hole in it. "Well, I guess a cave might hide me from the horror," he muttered, entering, forgetting what the letter had said about insects and failing to notice as he stepped over a bulky, tusked, but still obviously humanoid skull. "Why do I feel like I'm in a cliché' horror mo-" he was inturupted by a rattled gasp that turned out to come from a collapsed, half-dead green orc. Uncertain, he grabbed his staff and poked the tusked one.

"Ow. **Ow. OW! **Quit it jackass!" Roared the orc furiously, before remembering he was, as I mentioned before, half dead. "Kid… Get out. The insects…"

"Insects? Oh yeah! I was warned about giant insects!"

"SHUT UP! I'm giving a dying speech here!" He cleared his throat, "for now… There are only drones. The queen is… taking a holiday in the… frozen wastelands."

"Why?"

"Because it likes the taste of blue Orc and Sagrotan, now stop interrupting. I still have a loaded gun and one working arm." Insectile clicks and hisses reached his ears. "You've got to be kidding me! I was supposed to make this a good death scene! Thanks for nothing kid!" Then he died, his spirit flipped the finger at the author and passed on.

SVNF

"Hey Vimm."

"Yes?"

"I think someone else just broke the fourth wall." Vimm just stared at his brother, honestly confused.

"The what now?"

"Forget it."

SVNF

Harry was seriously not happy. He'd already emptied the dead orcs gun killing these man-sized, six-legged yet still occasionally bipedal insects and the only other weapon on the corpse was a sewing needle. He's probably have more luck trying to use his staff. "To hell with it!" He roared, opting for that, leaping at the nearest insect and smacking in on the top of the head, then hitting another across the face and blocking a third ones jaws in one movement. Well, the last two were at least. If he couldn't kill 'em, then he'd have to settle for clobberin' 'em! They were mindless bugs anyway! He brought up the staff again to block yet another's jaws, only for it to break in half.

Harry stared at his broken weapon, then grinned as he realized that he had both some idea of how to use the two ends and that they were both lethal. He began fighting again, trying to incapacitate more than he killed, but not truly caring in the end. The unconscious and dead forms of the bugs began littering the floor as he slowly began to tire. No matter how many fell, they never stopped coming! As he was slammed against a wall by an unusually huge monster, he figured that he might actually prefer being out there with the Scryer sister than in here with everything trying to kill him. In a… hive, he finally realized, mentally kicking himself as the monster reared its head back, only to give a strangled gurgle as it fell in half, revealing a far-too-cheerful little girl with a giant scythe. Only she obviously wasn't Human.

"Hiya!" She giggled, decapitating an insect without so much as looking. "Now, you stay there and leave the fighting to me, kay?"

"I have no problem with that. I don't even have my weapon. All I have are my… ice… powers. DO'H!" He'd completely forgotten about them. Then again, this was his first fight this year where he could've actually died. Quirrel didn't count. "You know what? To hell with it." And formed a pole of ice with mace-like ends, fighting with renewed vigor by the side of the one who, to be honest, scarred the living hell out of him. Their enemies kept coming, but they kept cutting them down with minimal effort. Harry fought with his frozen polearm and magic, at one point even freezing the insects feet to the floor so he could get an easy hit, while Nightmare fought with her scythe and feet. Said feet however, couldn't really be called that. If they had to be called anything, he'd call them-

"Eagle talons?" He shook his head and froze everything with more than four limbs in place, then shattered them. Only to be swamped once more. "On come on!"

"Meanie Potter doesn't know how to fight the endless!" Giggled Nightmare, folding her enormous, black, feathered wings, spinning her scythe and slamming it hilt-first into the ground. Harry never knew what happened next, nor did he care to, but the bugs suddenly froze in place and began screeching. Some clutched their heads with four sets of claws, some tried to escape and one even attacked, but their fate was the same. They all died, attacked quickly and with ruthless efficiency. Nightmare had shredded their link to the queen as a whole, driven them insane, and killed them in their minds.

A/N: Confused? Well, I figured that these insects could have a mental link to the queen and obey her orders, and if she wasn't sending any, they'd simply do something like… gathering food, but still be able to feel her presence. Their whole life revolves around their queen, so if they can't feel her presence anymore, they could go insane. As for Nightmare killing them in their minds, I have two words. Freddy Krueger.

"That was," he paused, "actually fairly disturbing."

"Yup! The Horror lets me get into the minds of everything nearby at the same time!" She switched to serious mode. "I never intended to kill you, idiot. My job's on the line remember? Anyway, my catching you would have meant you failed the trial, but you didn't know this was a hive and actually managed to take out a fair chunk without your magic, so we can give you that."

"The Horror?"

"Yes. The name of my scythe." She suddenly switched again. "Anyway, you were neeeeeeeerly there! The city's just past this place!" She dragged him outside, around the hive and pointed at more skyscrapers than he could count, all of which were blocked by the hive from where he entered. Well, it was a bloody big spire of a hive so give him some credit.

"Uh, I'm gonna say it again. DO'H!" Regardless, he began trudging back to civilization. "Shortest survival trial ever. Of all time."

SVNF

"Longest… survival trial… ever. Of all time." Panted Blaise, trying to shimmy across a ledge he was dangling from due to it being, well, less of a ledge and more of a crack in the cliff face. He'd quickly deducted that his kendo stick was completely useless against the elvin and dwarven residents after it became clear that they'd just keep attacking even after he'd knocked them out. Of course, he'd also discovered that if they noticed each other, they'd forget him completely.

Right now however, he was just trying to get away from a pack of elves.

SVNF

Shadow growled.

"I swear, if I get one more wild elf tries to threaten me into worshiping his pot plant, I'm gonna take your White Wyvern and shove it so far up their-" a sword was leveled at his throat.

"Not cool man! Respect Nature! Here, start by worshiping my pot plant," droned an elf, holding up a sunflower.

"How many times to I have to tell you Florian? Plants. Are. Not. Gods! And if you want to get people to do what you want to get them to do, ASK! Don't threaten! Just like Humans! The good ones!"

"Up yours man!"

Vimm wordlessly handed his poleblade to his brother, who grinned evilly.

SVNF

Blaise paused and looked toward the source of the loudest scream he'd ever heard, as did every elf pursuing him. He'd have taken that opportunity to fry them all, but he needed to concentrate on not falling at the moment. Speaking of which…

He looked back at the elves, alarmed when he noticed that one, only one, had nearly caught him.

"Die inferior!" Blaise blinked, astounded at its arrogance even as it raised a kitchen knife with its left hand.

"Oh screw this!" Yelled Blaise, releasing his grip, beginning to slide down the very steep incline of the mountain and blindly launching a bolt of electricity behind him. He kept sliding, constantly trying and failing to find something to hold onto before the ground simply stopped, launching him off a cliff. That turned out to only be five meters above water. "I am never," he panted, floating, "doing that again." A charred elf corpse fell beside him, as did a kitchen knife with a melted blade. "Guess I hit it then," he muttered, making for the shore, "oh hey, civilization." He sighed with relief just as a massive tentacle erupted from the waters surface, snagged the elf corpse and dragged it under.

"Oh come on!" Blaise might not have been as smart as Hermionie or Vimm, he wasn't insane and bloodthirsty like Draco or Shadow, he wasn't a leader like Harry and he sure as hell wasn't as steadfast as Neville, so he had no idea how he as supposed to overpower, outmaneuver or outsmart a Kraken. Granted, it wouldn't be hard to outsmart one in theory, but nothing ever works out as planned when facing something with a brain that size.

It dragged him underwater before he could come up with any method for victory but, much to his surprise and relief, Blaise discovered that he could somehow breathe. Passing it off as physics working differently like in that Wrinkle in time book, he decided to do something he had yet to see the others do. He used his common sense.

Since he knew he couldn't get hurt by his element, especially if he personally generated it, he just let loose an electrical surge, frying the water around him and somehow setting the kraken on fire. Getting seriously confused about how his worlds water worked, he increased the intensity until it floated to the surface limply, dead. And still burning.

"I'm not complaining, but that was… underwhelming," he stated as he took off. He was completely focused on his destination, never looked to the left to see multiple giant step-like ledges and thus, never saw the massive amount of skeletons. But most importantly, at ground level, he never saw the four graves.

SVNF

"He didn't? Well that sucks mate."

"What the hell are you on about?"

SVNF

Hermione moved slightly to the side, avoiding the red orcs vertical swing and giving her the opportunity to kill him with minimal difficulty. But she simply knocked him out instead, uncomfortable with killing a sentient at the time. Meanwhile, the author made a mental note to find someone who could help him with writing about her.

(A/N: I'm sorry. The only girl I know how to write is Nightmare, and that's because I created her. I intend to give her a much bigger part next chapter. How? She's the fastest mate, the team kinda needs her.)

SVNF

Neville moved through the swamp as cautiously as he could, constantly checking behind him or for anything out of the ordinary. He knew something was following him, he just didn't know what, and when he checked, he was unable to find anything, so he decided to just keep walking, but remain alert. This was whatever the predator was' territory, not his.

"Just how long is it going to ta-" he growled before being tackled by something twice as big as him. He struggled, and finally managed to throw it off after a few punches to the face, allowing him a clear look at it. It was a lizardman. A hulking, dark green lizardman that was as big as the troll that had attacked in October and was staring at him hungrily. It lunged, faster than should have been physically possible for something its size, clawing him down the chest and across the face. It was good compared to the alternative, because it was aiming at his throat. Needless to say, Neville managed to avoid certain death and retreat to a safe distance.

"Okay, I'm no match for you in speed." 'But I'm master of earth and rock' he finished silently, concluding that even in a swamp, where water severely dampened his abilities so to speak, keeping that piece of information secret could give him the edge he needed to win. He just needed a few seconds to- … get grabbed, picked up and get slammed into the ground head-first apparently. 'That wasn't supposed to happen', he thought as he kicked it off, physically lifted it above his head and slammed it through the trunk of a tree. The fight went on, the lizardman slashing and biting at Neville, and the human pounding it when his life wasn't in immediate danger, while trying to manipulate the earth around a certain point at the same time.

"Finally," he growled, dodging a bite at his neck, grabbing the lizards leg, slamming it into the place he'd been concentrating on for so long and diving out of the way as the trap was triggered and a spike of rock impaled it then retracted into the ground. He could have sworn he heard someone saying 'finish him!' in the background and was stunned when he saw his enemy stagger to its feet. Roaring with fury, he charged towards it, tackled it, repeatedly punched it in the face with all the force he had, got of, grabbed it by the feet, dragged it back despite it's desperate escape attempts, began spinning and threw it above an unnaturally bright green clump of trees. That turned to be attached to a huge worm-like monster that erupted from the swamp and swallowed the lizardman whole.

Stunned, Neville turned away from what he assumed was the "Sarlac slug", stared at a sign saying 'civilization', sighed, covered his face with a hand and headed in that direction.

"This world makes no sense."

SVNF

"FU**ING FU**IDY FU**-FACED FRIKIN' FORK-FARTING FARKS!" Thundered Draco, storming through the rapidly melting snow, courtesy of the flames engulfing his entire body. He'd been trudging aimlessly for hours now, and seen nothing but blue-skinned orcs who didn't wear much and ran for it the moment they saw his flames, when a stampede of shorter-than-average winged, tailed, red-eyed, tailed, fanged humanoid monsters with tar-black skin, claws on their hands ran past him on all fours. Each of which was wearing either a pair of shorts or that and a tank-top. He assumed the former were male and the latter were female. "Damn, how many of you are there?" He muttered after five minutes of being passed by the monsters when there was a deafening screech, followed by a ridiculously deep roar. One of the females stopped running, rose to two feet and ran back, only to get tackled by two males who dragged her away.

"(We are the Sagrotan)!" She screamed in her own language, struggling, "(We shouldn't run from something like that)!"

"(We'd get slaughtered by that thing now come on! If you fall behind, we're leaving you!)" Replied one of her captors, running as fast as possible. Draco starred after them.

"What the hell were they blabbering about?" The ground started to shake, "oh that can't be good." He was right, and a titanic bipedal insect that looked like something out of Alien save the back of the head, the under bite, seven eyes and lack of tail this one had, came into view, the ground quaking with every step. It looked at Draco, devoured the remains of its latest victim and roared in his direction. "I am **so **dead!" Declared Draco, burning as hot as he could and taking out his surprisingly untouched kendo stick. The insect lunged, grabbing at him with all four hands, only just missing. Draco flipped onto one of its arms, climbed onto its back, created an axe made entirely of fire and brought it down on the bugs head. It shattered and the bug clicked in annoyance. "Well that's not good," deadpanned Draco, looking at the embers that once formed a red and yellow weapon of minimal destruction. The bug grabbed him and stuffed him in its mouth, where he created another fire axe and began hacking away. Naturally, this didn't sit well with the insect, so it spat him out, grabbed him and threw him off a cliff, where he hit at least seven barren branches and fell through a seven inch sheet of ice before hitting the stone roof of a hut.

"Huh?" A blue-skinned humanoid with tusks noticed him. "Humans never come here." He looked up and saw the giant insect. "RUN FOR IT!" He roared, clearing the village before the monster landed. Draco painfully picked himself up and launched a ball of fire at his enemy, doing nothing but annoying it. He dodged a claw and launched another blast of fire, hitting the insect in the face, once again only annoying it. The monster followed up by grabbing him with two of its hands, bringing it up to head height and hissing. Draco gagged.

"Oh I think I'm gonna be sick. Ever heard of breath freshener? Well neither have I 'till recently but that's no excuse!" It slammed him against the cliff face and began crushing him. "Ow… Oooh I think my spine just snapped! This really, really hurts!" It emitted a deep croaking/clicking sound that could only be one thing. Laughter. Draco saw red. He could tolerate being chewed out, cut, forced through a Scryer training session, hell! He'd even been able to tolerate Ron's gang for a time, but he would **not **stand for being laughed at! "Okay. You've beaten the crap outta me. Is throwing me through a glacier not enough for you?" He roared in fury, a metal weapon forming in his hand and emitting a flaming explosion powerful enough to stagger the insect, forcing it to drop him.

"My name," he growled, getting to his feet, "Is Draco Malfoy. And THIS!" He roared, raising his weapon, "is **MY **Boomstick!" Its hilt was that of a gun with two triggers directly next to each other, one longer than the other, but there was no barrel. Only a one-sided, serrated blade that was head and shoulders shorter than him. "And you are **so **dead," he hissed, readying his gunblade, dodging a grab at him and effortlessly severing the arm. "Alright! One more time!" He physically became fire and flew to the monsters head, becoming solid when he reached the top and plunging the blade into a gap in its carapace, bracing himself and grabbing the hilt with both hands.

"Point-blank incineration… Hellfire." He whispered, pulling both triggers. A massive, fiery explosion emanated from the blade, incinerating the insect, the orcish village and most of the cliff he was thrown off immediately and flinging Draco through the air like a rag doll. He landed at the first building of the city, where the snow suddenly stopped. "That was fun," he stated groggily, staggering to where the Scryer brothers were.

SVNF

"Right, now that you're all here, we thought you might enjoy some sports."

"Wait a minute!" Yelled Harry, "we just got back from that hell!"

"Did we say ya'd do it immediately mate? It's tomorrow."

"_Thank you _Shadow. Now, as I was saying…" He pointed at a TV. "We thought you might enjoy this, but don't think there isn't a catch! If the other team wins, we're stringing you up by your toes in the dungeons!"

"The hell mate? Aren't **I **supposed ta be the psycho?" Vimm was enjoying this way too much. His mouth was set in a deranged grin and his eyes weren't facing the same direction.

"Just watch!" The white one was sounding slightly hysterical now, so Harry & co stared at the screen.

An elf was running as fast as he could across a football field, dodging tackles with unmatched agility until he reached the other end, the scene slowing down to a crawl as he prepared to score. It cut to his face and a huge green fist entered the screen, slamming into his face, which melded into the fist. Draco was cracking up at this point, but give him some credit, imagining that happening is a lot funnier than typing it. The speed cut back to normal as the elf was sent tumbling the entire length of the field into a goalpost and the screen changed to the helmeted head of a green orc who roared at the camera before the screen faded to red and the gold words "Butcher ball" appeared.

There was silence for a few moments before Blaise spoke up. "Well. That's obviously a blatant rip-off."

"Shut it. There's no weapons or death allowed, just severe pummelings. Get yourselves rested tonight, 'cause you're gonna need all ya strength for tomorrows game. We beat up the players and registered us as the reserves. Nightmare giggled with excitement and the shades had an uneasy night, plagued with nightmares about the upcoming game.

Fifteen points and possibly a quicker update if anyone can tell me where a hippy elf named Florrian's from.

And that scene with him wasn't supposed to be an insult to anyone, I just really hate elves and tried to find a way to excaudate my view of them to ridiculous extremes. Why? Because I can.

Right. No-one's given me any ideas for weapons. That's okay, I had backups just in case. For everyone except Hermione and a future Shade, so please give me ideas. For some reason, I can't seem to picture her with daggers and kusarigama. I'll give her a nine-section chain whip if things turn desperate, but still, I'd appreciate some suggestions.


End file.
